VIRTUAL
DATA ROOM

Crude Observations

Twelve Days?

Short and sweet this week as it is time to start slowing down but I don’t want to use all my Christmas magic too early since there is a lot of ground to cover between now and the big day. And, as we all know there are a lot of days in the whole Christmas pantheon. There are days off, the days between Christmas and New Year’s, it took the wise men a couple of weeks almost to get to the manger after the big birth, there are – variously – 12 or 24 days in the Advent calendars. And there are 12 days of Christmas as memorialized in everyone’s favourite Christmas drinking game song.

 

Which of course get me a-thinking. Does it have to be “lords-a-leaping” and “swimmers-swimming” (that’s a verse right?) or can we do a variation on a theme and have a little fun with it.

 

Then I watched Question Period and the news the other day and in the aftermath of that horrific experience, replete with all its smarmy condescension, messaging, preening, gaslighting, head-faking, deflection, lies and avoidance I had an idea.

 

What if there was a song that succinctly summed up my feeling about the current state of Canadian politics, some of its participants? And what if it was fun and easy to sing? And what if it had a catchy tune? And what if I could put it in a blog that was supposed to be a “skip” week, if only to bring some joy into your hum-drum lives?

 

Well I think it would go something like this…

 

The Crude Observations 12 Days of Christmas…

 

On the first day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

An Election to save my Country.

 

(see how fun and easy this is?)

 

On the Second Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Two boutique tax bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Third Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two boutique tax bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Fourth Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Four Alberta lawsuits,

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two tax cut bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Fifth Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Five Rhyming Slogans!

 

(this is where it gets fun, sing faster!)

 

Four Alberta lawsuits,

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two boutique tax bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Sixth Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Six Empty Trump Threats,

 

Five Rhyming Slogans!

 

(sing faster again)

 

Four Alberta lawsuits,

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two boutique tax bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Seventh Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Seven lost byelections,

Six Empty Trump Threats,

 

Five Rhyming Slogans!

 

(sing faster again)

 

Four Alberta lawsuits,

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two boutique tax bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Eighth Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Eight vesting pensions,

Seven lost byelections,

Six Empty Trump Threats,

 

Five Rhyming Slogans!

 

(sing faster again)

 

Four Alberta lawsuits,

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two boutique tax bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Ninth Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Nine NATO cash calls,

Eight vesting pensions,

Seven lost byelections,

Six Empty Trump Threats,

 

Five Rhyming Slogans!

 

(sing faster again)

 

Four Alberta lawsuits,

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two boutique tax bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Tenth Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Ten caps on prosperity,

Nine NATO cash calls,

Eight vesting pensions,

Seven lost byelections,

Six Empty Trump Threats,

 

Five Rhyming Slogans!

 

(sing faster again)

 

Four Alberta lawsuits,

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two boutique tax bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

Eleven Keystones cancelled,

Ten caps on prosperity,

Nine NATO cash calls,

Eight vesting pensions,

Seven lost byelections,

Six Empty Trump Threats,

 

Five Rhyming Slogans!

 

(sing faster again)

 

Four Alberta lawsuits,

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two boutique tax bribes,

And an Election to save my Country

 

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my government gave to me,

 

12 weeks of campaigning,

Eleven Keystones cancelled,

Ten caps on prosperity,

Nine NATO cash calls,

Eight vesting pensions,

Seven lost byelections,

Six Empty Trump Threats,

 

Five Rhyming Slogans!

 

(sing faster again)

 

Four Alberta lawsuits,

Three pointless firearms bills,

Two boutique tax bribes,

 

And …

 

An Election

 

to save my

 

Country

That’s it. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

 

Call. An. Election.

Crude Observations
BLOG
Sign up for the Stormont take on the latest industry news »

Recent Posts

Categories