This week, there are a number of mundane topics that I could have written about, opined on or otherwise dissected.

For example, there was some boondoggle in Switzerland this week where a bunch of big heads got to mingle with a bunch of big egos, and Bono, in order to solve the world’s most pressing economic problems, eat some fondue and go skiing. There was also the matter of Leo DiCaprio’s brilliant deconstruction of the energy sector (ahem) where during a speech he decried the corporate greed of energy companies before hopping back on his private jet to fly to whatever yacht he borrowed from his Saudi buddies. Leo – can we talk? You are a privileged, sheltered contradiction. Stick to the method acting. Or do some reading. Or party with supermodels. Or something, anything. I just read that even our PM told you to cool it before he took a selfie. Get the message.

There were the confusing comments from our Prime Minister at the same event where he said Canada was not about resources but resourcefulness only to have Mayor Nenshi of Calgary correct him by saying (and I paraphrase here) – “Um, yeah, right, no we are all about resources, used and developed resourcefully.”

Then we had the Mayor of Montreal come out against the proposed Energy East Pipeline on the grounds that it is not environmentally responsible, ignoring the fact that millions of barrels of oil from North Africa and the Middle East get delivered up the Saint Lawrence every year for consumption in Eastern Canada and that a significant amount of oil gets shipped by rail through places like Lac Megantic etc. So which is it? Foreign oil good, Canadian bad? Rail is preferable over pipe? Enriching despots is better than affordable health care at home? Dumping poop in a river is preferable to a regulated pipeline built by local unionized labour, crossing a province? It never ceases to amaze me how Canada is the only country in the world where we seem entirely dedicated to acting against our own economic self-interest.

But that’s not what this week is all about. Instead, there is something that has been getting under my skin for a while, and it has to do with words – but not the pontifications from people who know nothing about our industry or are engaged in an epic NIMBY-motivated shakedown of private industry, rather words and sayings that have been floating around that quite frankly are getting pretty overused and annoying.

Forthwith and without further ado, the following are the terms that I am pretty much tired of hearing, and why.

Glut. Okay, we get it. There’s a lot of oil. Supply exceeds demand by about 1.5 million barrels a day. That’s a lot. But enough is enough. Glut, glut, glut. Please from this point forward, let’s at least go check a thesaurus and find some alternative words. Like oversupply. By the way, the opposite of Glut is CRUNCH, and as you have read here, it’s coming.

Rout. Glut’s cousin. The Glut that caused the Rout – that’s what it’s all about. The rout is on! This is what I think is a rout (courtesy of the internet): a defeat attended with disorderly flight. Yes the market has been hammered and it’s a “sh*@ storm” or a “dumpster fire”, but it’s not always a rout. Arguably, the rout happens once, the rest is the aftermath, figure out a better way to describe it, and please take a deep breath.

Fracklog. This is one of the more annoying fabricated terms which means the number of wells that have been drilled, but not fracked and completed. It sure sounds cool, creatively combining “fracking” and “backlog”. But it’s not new, companies always have wells in inventory. Get over it.

Efficiency. Endless commentary touting tight oil producers’ new efficiencies that are allowing them to continue increasing production at ever lower prices and lowering their break even prices. My redefinition – Efficiency: slashing the amount you pay your service companies. Note that the efficiency gains have been maximized, because at some point the poeple who do the workl won’t work for nothing.

Lower for Longer. This of course refers to oil prices staying low for longer than expected. It’s a copout. Sure prices will stay lower for longer – longer than what – next Tuesday? You can never be proven wrong. If you’re in the media, don’t let analysts get away with that.

Even Lower for Even Longer. Oy. Words fail me. In other news, something may happen… sometime…

Crude under Pressure. A favourite headline on BNN (Canada’s business news network), but we’re more than a year in. Get your copy guys to find something new.

Catching a falling knife. This of course is used to describe investing in a company or product whose prospects are in terminal decline and you don’t know where the bottom is. It has its uses, but can quickly be overused and let’s face it, it’s pretty insulting to the object of its use – oh company ABC is a falling knife – really? Good luck winning them as a new client. How about we find a way to help them?

Dirty Oil. Yup. Oil is dirty. It has carbon in it too. Its deposits are located in some pretty nasty places. Some of those places couldn’t care less about the environment and as a result it’s even dirtier. But there is no such thing as “dirty” oil. It’s oil. The producers are dirty. And the ones who have “rules” to follow are generally the ones who you should be encouraging. Don’t compare Canada to Nigeria or Libya. It’s offensive.

85 year Record Storage. Yes storage is high. But is anyone really surprised that storage is at an 85 year high when demand, production and availability of storage are as well? This isn’t news and it’s meaningless. Talk to me about trends, plateaus.

Anything to do with Climate Change and the Coming Apocalypse. Tone it down. People will take it more seriously.

Hottest year on Record. What record? How long a record? Compared to what? Where?

Game Over for Oil. Seriously? Does anyone actually think the industry is just going to fold up its tent and pack out? Our entire society is built on cheap energy.

A Carbon-Free Future. Hmm, well I likely won’t be around to see it and neither will any of the people who promised it. But no matter, it sounds great and gets people elected,

We’re Going to Have to Leave it in the Ground. There are a lot of things that are going to be left in the ground. Oil isn’t one of them. I often wonder how politicians can so wilfully ignorant of what drives the modern economy. For once, it would be nice to have someone be honest and say: “Look, the modern economy and global wealth creation is predicated on ample supplies of cheap energy and that means fossil fuels for the foreseeable future, so let’s figure out a way to extract, ship and use it while reducing our footprint.

Social License. This is the term used to describe what energy and pipeline companies need to ensure their projects go forward. Everyone know it’s bull, there is no such thing as “social licence”. Telling a company they need to go out and develop “social license” is abdicating your responsibility as an elected leader. Obtaining the social license for a project that is in the country’s interest is government’s job. Don’t pass the buck.

OPEC. Anyone else tired of these guys? I sure am.

Chinese Stock Market Plunges. In many ways, a market sell-off is quite alarming, but can we take a step back? The Chinese stock market is comprised of companies with very limited disclosure, random trading rules and predominantly retail based investors. If Wall Street isn’t reflective of Main Street, then why is a stock market in a broadly acknowledged gambling oriented society treated as anything more than the rigged casino it actually is?

Prices as at January 22, 2016 (January 15, 2016)

• The price of oil ended the week up after touching numbers below $27 and prompting comparisons to the price of a bucket of KFC..
  • Storage was up, finished product inventories remain high
  • Production was up marginally
  • Markets have been selling the storage story and extreme China fears, but a contract roll-over from February to March and some incremental postive sentiment lifted prices.
  • The rig count decreased
  • OPEC production declined marginally
• Natural gas gained slightly during the week, as a severe winter storm was predicted for the NE.

• WTI Crude: $32.20 ($29.69)
• Nymex Gas: $2.139 ($2.103)
• US/Canadian Dollar: $0.7072 ($ 0.6887)

Highlights

• As at January 15, 2016, US crude oil supplies were at 486.5 million barrels, an increase of 3.9 million barrels from the previous week and 88.7 million barrels ahead of last year. Imports declined somewhat but are still high on a recent past basis.
• The number of days oil supply in storage was 29.5, ahead of last year’s 25.0.
• Production was up to 9.235 million barrels per day. Production last year at the same time was 9,158 million barrels per day. Based on the numbers and a result of stubborn production levels, it is likely that negative year over year production growth in the U.S. will be delayed to later in Q1. The marginal increase in production this week came from lower 48.
• As at January 8, 2016, US natural gas in storage was 3,297 billion cubic feet (Bcf), which is 17% above the 5-year average and about 24% higher than last year’s level, following an implied net withdrawal of 178 Bcf during the report week.
• Overall U.S. natural gas consumption increased by 3.1% for the period led by residential consumption which rose 7.9% on cold weather. Natural gas consumption for electrical power generation is at all time highs since the beginning of the year – 3% above the record maximum and 24% ahead of the five year average.
• Oil rig count at January 15 was down to 510 from 515 the week prior.
  • Rig count at January 1, 2015 was 1,482
• Natural gas rigs drilling in the United States were down to 127 from 135.
  • Rig count at January 1, 2015 was 328
• As of January 18, the Canadian rig count was at 214 (29% utilization), 133 Alberta (25%), 32 BC (40%), 43 Saskatchewan (35%), 6 Manitoba (33%)). Utilization for the same week last year was about 49%.
• US split of Oil vs Gas rigs is 80%/20%, in Canada the split is 54%/46%

Drillbits

• Suncor finally got its prize, as an amended offer to acquire Canadian Oil Sands was accepted.
• The Canadian dollar broke $0.67 before rallying to the end of the week
• The Bank of Canada left rates unchanged, tossing the ball to the Federal government to actually come through with some form of stimulus. The lack of change was welcomed by this writer as a proverbial line on the sand on currency prices – don’t oversell Canada
• Drumpf Watch – Sarah Palin threw her support behind Donald Drumpf the day after her son was arrested on weapons and domestic violence charges in Alaska. Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up fast enough. In other news, David Letterman and Jon Stewart have come out of retirement. Like, why wouldn’t you?