Dear readers, I feel I owe you an apology. Lost amidst all this tariff nonsense of the past few weeks has been some missing out on tradition. You see I have a series of blogs I do as we transition from January to February, the main one of course being my Groundhog Day one, which, given Trump Redux or Trump 2.0 seems like it is rather timely. And waiting to see if a mangy rodent sees its shadow or not as a weather predictor is one of my favourite annual traditions. But I missed it so we will have to wait until next year. See what I mean when I say tariffs ruin everything???

 

Except this week. I will not let tariffs ruin this week. Nor will I let Dareffs ruin this week. See what I did there? Refs. They are evil. Ouch. What’s that? Someone just threw a flag at me. What the heck. Unsportsmanlike Conduct? What?

 

Okay then, moving on… Sheesh…

 

As I was about to say, no one can ruin this for me because it is the most wonderful time of the year! And another tradition here at the Crude.

 

That’s right, it’s Super Bowl Sunday! The day of days. The culmination of all the hard work I have done since September. Forcing myself seemingly day after day to watch football games, read football news, talk about football, PVR football and bet on football. And let me tell you, I am a master of all of these. Except the betting part. That really didn’t go as planned. Fortunately, all I lost was a one hundred Bitcoins and 10,000 NVIDIA options with a $1 exercise price, so I’m all good.

 

At any rate, if you know me, you know I am a sports lunatic. It is unusual, I know, to have one wife, two daughters and two cats and still be able to obsess about, let alone watch, football as much as I do, but somehow it works. I mean it’s not like I have two footballs in my office, regularly attend football games, or have written entire blogs about Tom Brady or do an annual NFL preview or look for any excuse to weave football into this weekly missive, right? FINE! Guilty as charged. Whatevs!

 

But you know what? Zero apologies.

 

Quite often, a sporting event and its buildup goes a long way to serve as a relief valve for tension that has built up elsewhere, as a result of things that have nothing to do with the fact that Buffalo got hosed yet again at the most important moment and that Josh Allen, for all his super humanness can’t seem to find an extra inch when needed and that desperation heaves under nearly constant pressure don’t apparently win championships – Karma for all the front-runners I guess. Look, I know as well as anyone in Western Upstate New York and certain people in the bob-sledding community that it’s all a giant scam and the refs are on the take for Kansas City (damn – another flag for unsportsmanlike conduct!) and that Buffalo deserved to win that game and that Houston should have won the week before and that if the game were in fact called fairly the chiefs would be 0-17 and reduced to watching the Super Bowl between Buffalo and Detroit (the game most likely to end in a tie!) from an Applebee’s in East St. Louis.

 

Ha! Cry me a river.

 

We should all thank our lucky stars that since some “musician” decided to insert herself into the conversation about football because of a “boyfriend” the Kansas City Chiefs have been an unstoppable force. 15-0 in games that matter. Only real loss in the regular season was to Buffalo – the perennial winner of the “The Regular Season is our Super Bowl” award.

 

Everybody needs to just Shake It Off.

 

These Playoffs were awesome. Don’t let fourth and “oops I’m short again” ruin it. (Damn, another flag)

 

The playoffs of course started off splendidly because the Cowboys weren’t in it. And they got better from there.

 

In the NFC, the only stories worth talking about are the emergence of Jayden Daniels as a bona fide star in the league – leading the Washington Redmanders to the NFC Championship game thanks to a dismantling of the rebuilding since 1957 Detroit Lions and the explosion onto the playoff scene of former New York Giant and current Eagles running back Saquon Barkley who is, Holy Freaking sh**, the second coming of Jim Brown, Barry Sanders, Terrell Davis, Chris Johnson and OJ Simpson (the player) rolled into one amazingly electric package. It makes you wonder – how completely awful and dysfunctional are the New York Football giants that they almost destroyed this guy’s career and then allowed him to escape to a DIVISION RIVAL no less. It seems like every week, Saquon steps into a sliver of a hole in the line and explodes out the other side like a rocket bobbing and weaving and 360-degree hurtling his way to yet another “ho-hum” 75-yard highlight reel touchdown. The Eagles were already formidable. Saquon makes them terrifying. Nowhere was this more ecvident than in the Eagles dismantling of the LA Rams in the snow (1 million yards rushing) and then the popping of the Jayden Daniels bubble in the NFC Championship when on the first play from scrimmage for the Eagles the aforementioned best back in the game ripped a 60-yard touchdown through ALL of the Washington defence and let them know the game was over.

 

 

My only regret is that we won’t see the area matchup of Barkley vs Derrick “the King” Henry because as we all well know, in the AFC, Baltimore lost a heartbreaker to the Bills in the Division round, cementing Lamar Jackson into the role of “The Guy that Can’t Beat the Team That Can’t Beat the Chiefs”. While of course KC had the referee assistance program running full tilt with their send-off of the Houston Texans (damn, another flag), who had made Justin Herbert and Jim Harbaugh look like frauds the previous week.

 

All these backs running around and no one is talking about the passing game anymore.

 

It’s not that complicated really. The running back is back people. And it’s awesome. Three yards and a cloud of dust. Except it isn’t. It’s power up the middle busting for 25. It’s a seal block on the edge that allows Saquon to go from 0 to 30 in a millisecond and leaves linebackers tackling air and, for good measure, safeties and corners getting embarrassed as Barkley literally jumps over them.

 

Even the Chiefs, with the best QB in the world, feature a ground attack with QB runs a key component, even when Mahomes slides. What’s that? Dammit, I just called for roughing the passer!

 

But all that aside, regardless of the game’s evolution and what strategies teams employ and who the refs favour, we should appreciate the Super Bowl for what it is. The grandest spectacle there is in sport, run by the one of the most powerful brands in existence (the NFL) and the best excuse ever for reckless chicken wing consumption ever invented.

 

Plus, it’s an opportunity for one beautiful afternoon to take all the garbage in the news that has been bothering myself and everyone else (tariffs!) and put it in a box, forget about it for a blissful 10 hour marathon of pre, actual and post game and simply appreciate the raw and savage elegance of a game that is a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.

 

I don’t know about you, but I can use the escapism. Because as usual there are a lot of things bothering me. Some of them you know, some of them, well, they’re just obvious. Others you may not have realized they bug you until you start to think about them – and I will point them out. All of them of course are blog-worthy so I won’t waste words this week and save them for the dog days.

 

I think maybe I would have had a riot if I did four tariff blogs in a row.

 

Besides, Trudeau and Carney have solved all our problems so we are free to shut down our oil industry now. Or something like that… NOT! Had you for a second though, right?

 

But enough digression

 

Super Bowl LIX!

 

No Patriots! No Tom Brady! Philly Cheese Steaks (wit’) vs Kansas City Ribs! A Blank Space!

 

It’s here and the food is going to be awesome. I will make lots of wings. You are all welcome to join me. I may also roll out the smoker for ribs and for fun will have at least one thinly sliced ribeye sandwich “with” onions, and cheese whiz or provolone at the ready, it’s going to be epic.

 

To begin, a few words about the matchup. Then some awesome prop bets and a prediction.

 

This year’s matchup features two massively talented and enigmatic teams. And if you bothered to read my Fearless Forecast you would know that I picked neither of these teams to win, let alone even make it to the final.

 

I had Atlanta losing to Baltimore in a matchup of two supremely talented yet snake-bit franchises. Instead, Baltimore’s season ended in Buffalo when the most reliable tight end in the game dropped an end zone 2-point conversion attempt and Atlanta? Well, they’re Atlanta. Shame on me.

 

Instead, we have the Kansas City Chefs as 1.5 point favourites over the Philadelphia Eagles in a rematch of Patrick Mahomes second Super Bowl triumph a mere two years ago – which was one of the more epic Super Bowl games I’ve seen and, of course, had its share of KC favouring penalties (what’s that? Flagged again? Grr).

 

 

The Matchup

 

Kansas City is quarterbacked by Patrick Mahomes who has done nothing except win for his entire career and, with Tom Brady moving on, is now the subject of a concerted campaign to be promoted as the GOAT of his generation. Even in a down year, Mahomes is a defense’s nightmare, a master of finding open receivers (who have finally stopped dropping passes) and, when all seems lost, a magician at creating touchdowns out of chaos or finding his favourite target 7-12 times every game for big plays. A former MVP, Mahomes is destined to win multiple Super Bowls and he already has three. Kansas City is going for the three-peat, a term that Pat Riley has a copyright on (fun story – LINK here) and the world, as tired as they are of the Chiefs, might like that. I’m not sold. They are already a dynasty. Share the wealth (damn, another flag!).

 

Philadelphia is quarterbacked by the much-maligned Jalen Hurts. He is to once a game manager, a system quarterback, a runner with a fastball that h can throw deep and whatever other term you can throw at hm. The only one you can’t use is “loser”. Because he’s not.

 

 

Jalen Hurts, the former Alabama and Oklahoma QB who was brought in to back up Carson Wentz and has emerged as the undisputed leader of the juggernaut Eagles. While in his first year as a starter Hurts was limited as more of an RPO and running QB and last year was marred by injury and an inexplicable late season and playoff collapse, this year Philadelphia has a running game and a deep game that is terrifying to coordinators and allows Hurts to be much more unpredictable and dynamic. Why run wen you have Barkley? Because the box is stacked on one side and you re a monster who can carry people for 15 yards. Why pass when you have Barkley? Because teams are so terrified of the two of you, they go man to man on all the beats you have running posts  Jalen Hurts is the most compelling story in this game to me. He is a humble athlete who has done nothing his entire career except listen to coaches, be a consummate teammate, learn, continuously improve and win. His teammates love and respect him and he is as strong as any player on the field – you only need to watch his ridiculous squat and dead lift videos to appreciate it.  If he’s on his game, involving Saquon and making smart decisions and the defense can hold Mahomes to “normal human” performance – Fly Eagles Fly.

 

Both teams boast otherworldly casts of offensive weapons.

 

On the Chefs side there is the veteran and maybe greatest TE ever Travis Kelce-Swift, three serviceable wide receivers (Hollywood Brown, future Hall of Fame DeAndre Hopkins and rookie sensation Xavier Worthy) who run fast and occasionally catch the ball. At running back we have Isiah Pacheco – a Crash Bandikoot-like human wrecking ball with 4.2 speed. The Chiefs are efficient and they get things done. They are disciplined and rarely make mistakes. Which is why the league and the public think the refs are in the tank for them (damn it, another flag!) except they’re just smart. Better teams don’t hurt themselves.

 

On Philadelphia, in addition to Hurts there is the best running back in the NFL – Saquon Barkley who, if he rushes for something like 25 years will have posted the best all-in season ever by a running back, combining regular and post-season. His post season this year is equivalent to many teams’s best RBs entire regular season. He’s that good. Going deep we have the two-headed monster of DeVonta Smith and AJ Brown (when he’s not reading self-help books on the sideline), along with Dallas Goedert at tight end. The Philadelphia offensive line is the human equivalent of s steamroller featuring my favourite – a converted rugby player in Jordan Mailata – basically a six foot eight inch 350 pound muscle.

 

On defence, the Eagles are stacked. They’ve got a blend of veterans and youth on the defensive front including a one-man game-wrecked named Jalen Carter. At linebacker they have Zack Baun – a free agent they took a flyer on who is basically their second best defensive player and Josh Sweat who is a game changer in his own right. Two f their best players are on injured reserve and the team is arguably just as good or better now. And one of them may be back. The secondary is also stacked. If Kansas City wants to beat them, they are going to have to beat them. The key is going to be time. Mahomes needs it and if he gets it, the Eagles are vulnerable deep. The Chefs have an equally stacked defence, including playoff stud Chris Jones who almost single-handedly wins every game he plays. That said, even with one of the best defences in the league against the run, they have been vulnerable in the playoffs (James Cook was Buffalo’s MVP in the Championship Game, yet strangely on the bench when t mattered – but it’s the refs fault!). The Chefs will have their hands full with Barkley and if Hurts gets in rhythm, it could be a long game. First score will matter a lot here – both teams like to play downhill.

 

On the coaching side, the Eagles have Nick Siriani. He has been to the Super Bowl one before – and lost to the Chiefs. He is volatile, a bit over the top and lost his team somewhere between midseason last year and training camp. But he got it back, they are rolling and the game is coming easier to him. His turn is coming. Doesn’t hurt to have Vic Fangio calling defence. The Chefs have big old Andy Reid, the every-man coach who for years was the guy who “couldn’t get it done in the big spots” (see Kyle Shanahan) and now is the guy with the golden QB who seemingly can’t lose. Both are great coaches with talented teams. It’s what you want to see.

 

So, lots of intrigue. Offence vs defense. Magician and GOAT in waiting vs Hurts and Saquon. 5th Super Bowl appearance in 6 years for the Chefs. AA second Super bowl for Philly. Revenge for Saquon. Taylor Swift. Donald Trump in attendance – the first President ever to do that.

 

It’s going to be a good game I think. Unless it’s bad. I thought Broncos-Seahawks was going to be competitive, I am known to get things wrong.

 

And did I mention chicken wings?

 

Okay, before I make my prediction, it’s time for some prop bets and odds.

 

Don’t know what prop bets are? Those are the bets that are done on in-game outcomes or other things surrounding the game, like, over/under on the length of the anthem (124 seconds); will Kendrick Lamar bring out Drake during the halftime show (“yes” pays out at 15000; no at 50).

 

Or more serious things like will the first score take less time than the anthem, heads or tails, first advertiser, will a fan run out onto the field. You get the point.

 

Anyway, since I will be running a small prop book at my house for the game (only way to keep the family engaged) here are a few of my own.

 

The numbers show what the payout is for winning – so a 150 means a $1 bet pays $1.50

 

• Total points scored more than/less than the price of Western Canada Select (58!). (160/80)

 

• Will the total amount of turnovers in the game be more than the current number of countries/economic unions under threat by Donald Trump tariffs (4). This pays at 125/185.

 

• Will total sacks of Patrick Mahomes be more than the closing price of NYMEX ($3.50) on Friday. Pays 150/125

 

• Most awkward Super Bowl tweet – Me 4/3; Justin Trudeau 7/4; Danielle Smith 12/5; Elon Musk 8/1; Kevin the TOU insider 50/1

 

• Over/under on the Jon Batiste National Anthem at 120.5 seconds (90/122)

 

• Will Taylor Swift be shown during the National Anthem (20/280)

 

• Will Donald Trump be shown during the National Anthem and will he be talking to someone (50/200)

 

• Which iconic New Orleans landmark or scene will be seen on the GAME broadcast first — Bourbon Street or Saint Paul’s Cathedral or Graveyard or The Mighty Mississippi or A streetcar or a beignet and Café at Café du Monde or Devastating Floods?

 

• Will Donald Trump and Taylor Swift meet each other and presumably exchange contact info (150/5)

 

• Will the number of TD passes thrown by Patrick Mahomes exceed the number of LNG projects currently in actual development in BC (currently at 3 that I know of) (120/180)

 

• Will Saquon Barkley’s rushing yards exceed the projected CPC seat total of 171 (90/175)

 

• How many Super Bowl ads will have been designed by AI like Chat GPT (estimate 4) (60/150)

 

• In what quarter will my family have all stopped paying at least marginal attention to the game (1/2/3/4 pays 120/100/20/80)

 

• How many times will I think about politics/Energy prices/tariffs/food during the game. The over/under is 1 and the pay is 0/1000.

 

Game Prediction?

 

Okay, here it goes. As an Arizona Cardinals and Denver Broncos fan, I don’t actually have a proverbial dog in this proverbial fight, so it’s a hard one to pick.

 

I checked with the family to see where they are leaning. My wife informs me that she doesn’t care, but she likes Taylor Swift. My youngest daughter picks the Chefs because she likes food and Taylor Swift. My oldest daughter reminded me that I had yet again forgot to pay her allowance and told me to go away. And that she likes Taylor Swift. I never ask the cats. For the record, they like Taylor Swift.

 

When faced with this dilemma, I like to go for the story.

 

I’ve already given you a bunch of stuff. But. The first NFL game I attended in person was the season opener at the Vet (last season there)between the Eagles led by Donovan McNabb and coached by Andy Reid against the hated Dallas Cowboys. It was a hatefest and the Eagles annihilated them. The best part of that experience was the singing after everytouchdown (there were lots), the passion of the fans AND THE PHIILY CHEESESTEAK AFTERWARD.

 

The Eagles are a franchise that represents everything that is scrappy and blue collar about the NFL. Saquon Barkley is an old school transcendent athlete and superstar and is yet another humble dude who just goes about his stuff, like Jalen Hurts and the rest of the Eagles.

 

As an Alabama freshman in 2016/17, Jalen Hurts led the Crimson Tide to a 14-0 record before losing to Deshaun Watson and Clemson on a last second touchdown in the national championship game. In 2017/18 he led the Crimson Tide back to the National Championship but was benched after halftime for Tua Tagovailoa. Tua led the Tide to the win over Georgia.

 

As a junior, he played second fiddle to Tua all year, won a critical game replacing an injured Tua to get Alabama to the championship game yet again where he played 2 snaps as a non starter in the blowout loss to Clemson.

 

As a senior he transferred to Oklahoma, where he was the undisputed starter and led them to a 12-1 record, a second place Heisman finish but a lopsided loss in the playoffs to eventual National Champion Joe Burrow (the Cincinnati kid) to end their season.

 

For his college career he was 38-3 as a starter.

 

Philadelphia picked him 53rd in the draft, the fifth quarterback overall. Some teams asked him if he wanted to switch positions.

 

Four years later – he’s competing in his second Super Bowl. His starting record in the NFL is 46-20.

 

Dude is a winner.

 

Saquon Barkley finished the season with 2005 yard rushing. Almost the best ever. 2447 yards including playoffs. 30 off the record.

 

He is obsessed with being the best football player he can be and is as competitive as anyone on the field. But he’s in it for the team. He has repeatedly declined “glory moments” for team gains. His singular purpose is to win the Super Bowl. He is at once the most gifted athlete on a team of superstars and its most unassuming. He wins and leads by example. Another winner, now that he is with an organization that values that attitude.

 

Kansas City is magnificent, and they have the star power. Mahomes is without a doubt the best QB in the game right now and maybe ever when he’s done.

 

But not this year.

 

Kansas City has lived and died this year by the one score victory. The Eagles are a clock munching, field-marching machine that have proven they can explode on offence when needed.

 

I like Andy Reid – he’s my first ever live coach but he’s coaching the wrong team.

 

I like a coach who says dumb things at the wrong time and then lets his players read him the riot act, fix his shit and then lets them get it done on the field.

 

I put $50 on Saquon Barkley being the MVP. It had a better payoff than picking the Eagles to win. But if he’s the MVP, then the Eagles have won.

 

Fly, Eagles Fly!
On the road to victory! (Fight! Fight! Fight!)
Fight, Eagles fight!
Score a touchdown 1, 2, 3! (1! 2! 3!)
Hit ’em low!
Hit ’em high!
And watch our Eagles fly!
Fly, Eagles Fly!
On the road to victory!
E-A-G-L-E-S!
Eagles!

 

Eagles by 3. Barkley MVP.

 

No flags.